Thursday, May 19, 2011

My mini me

Selah Christine.

I could see her through the wavy glass of the shower door. She found my stash of moisturizer and lotion, make-up and perfumes. I tried to distract her but she wasn't havin' it. She knew she was onto something.

I watched as she broke into a tube of what she thought was lotion. She proceeded to rub moisturizer on her legs and toes. It occurred to me then that she sees me do this every day. I've seen her study things, the pages of a book, the apps on my phone...puts her nose so close that she's touching the screen. But now I was the subject of her curiosity.  I can't lie, I thought it was pretty darn cute.

As I went about the normal moisturizer, lotion, make up, picking out clothes...the usual,  I had all these thoughts swimming through my head. I wonder what she sees when I look at myself in the mirror and pinch the parts I don't like. Will my love/obsession with exercise lead her to think she's not perfect just the way she is? The way I don't take a compliment without saying something like...well, you haven't seen me in a swimsuit. The way I talk about losing those last 5 pounds.

But then I went deeper. What about Jesus? Does she see Him in me? What am I teaching her.  And not just her but my boys too. What are the things that I give importance to? There are so many things I need to work on. So many areas that need my attention. It's enough to have me on my knees every day asking for guidance and wisdom. For forgiveness and patience. Or at least I should be on my knees every day...

My grandma wrote a note back when we got married. I think it's pretty profound. It's not a long letter but a piece of advice I hold close to my heart. It's written in her familiar handwriting and I hope to have it framed. It needs to be on a wall in our home where I see it always.

Who do we want to be?

Do we want to be a reflection of the contentment and the encouragement of Christ? Our life needs to be so conformed to His image, so refined by years of following Him that the transition from earth to heaven will not require a dramatic change.

In God's love,

I pray my kids will see Him reflected in me, in my marriage, in the way I am with others. I fall so far short every single day. I'm thankful for a heavenly father who is full of grace and mercy. I'm thankful for a fresh start every morning. 

I need to be more consistent with my bible reading, prayer and praising. It needs to be every day, so much a part of my routine that someday when I glance up they will be doing...and loving doing those things.

Happy Thursday out's almost Friday, Hollah!


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