Thursday, May 26, 2011


I'm not sure which memories will be their favorites. Which ones will take center stage in the performance of Life.  The big, the little, the great, the not so great, they all have a place. They all have a purpose...

Somewhere on that stage there will be the long drive to Florida for a hot and sticky June vacation. Isaac still talks  about the hills of Kentucky, the mountains of Tennessee, the long stretch of Georgia. Also on that stage will be lazy summer days at the pool, licking ice cream stained fingers, catching fireflies by the light of the moon with a sweet neighbor girl, blonde wisps streaking her face and smiles all around.

I hope visiting Mamaw and Papa's house with the white, weathered siding and black shutters is there too.  That same house has taken up so much room in my very own heart. Where cousins abound and playing 'til dark is the name of the game.

Garage dancing in the afternoon. Never mind the long list of to do's...

Preschool graduation!
Drees up for school. Who doesn't love the man with the yellow hat? 

And best of all, real smiles. Here's to remembering the things that make us laugh 'til our belly hurts....or until we fall to the ground in a fit of laughter!

I hope they remember that.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Today they've made a tent out of blankets. They've wrestled, tickled, raced and watched in wonder as the yellow bulldozer and other heavy equipment repaired a nearby road.

"It snowed last year too: I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea." -Jean Baptiste Legouve

By night they share a room, sleep stacked, Gabe on the top bunk, Isaac on the bottom. We hear them laughing, telling stories, bonding as they try very hard to do anything but fall asleep.

"Never make a companion equal to a brother." -Hesiod

Mornings they are snuggled side by side on the couch watching Curious George, each with their cereal and cup of milk. They don't seem to mind a random foot in their space or sharing a  blanket, a sleepy head on the other's shoulder. 

"Help your brother's boat across, and your own will reach the shore" -Hindu Proverb

Today was Gabe's last day of school. He was all smiles as he showed big brother around. We were on his turf and he knew it. The proud smile he could hardly contain as he pointed out each station and gave us the tour. It was especially sweet to watch Isaac pass the I know my stuff baton on to his little brother. This time the big brother listened intently as the little brother gave direction.

"When brothers agree, no fortress is so strong as their common life." -Antisthenes

I look forward to watching this brother thing unfold. To watch their bond deepen...and someday I will sit back and listen to their stories, their memories of this blessed snipet of time.

"Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply..." -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, 1814

There's more to say for their bond is strong. I love that.


Thursday, May 19, 2011

My mini me

Selah Christine.

I could see her through the wavy glass of the shower door. She found my stash of moisturizer and lotion, make-up and perfumes. I tried to distract her but she wasn't havin' it. She knew she was onto something.

I watched as she broke into a tube of what she thought was lotion. She proceeded to rub moisturizer on her legs and toes. It occurred to me then that she sees me do this every day. I've seen her study things, the pages of a book, the apps on my phone...puts her nose so close that she's touching the screen. But now I was the subject of her curiosity.  I can't lie, I thought it was pretty darn cute.

As I went about the normal moisturizer, lotion, make up, picking out clothes...the usual,  I had all these thoughts swimming through my head. I wonder what she sees when I look at myself in the mirror and pinch the parts I don't like. Will my love/obsession with exercise lead her to think she's not perfect just the way she is? The way I don't take a compliment without saying something like...well, you haven't seen me in a swimsuit. The way I talk about losing those last 5 pounds.

But then I went deeper. What about Jesus? Does she see Him in me? What am I teaching her.  And not just her but my boys too. What are the things that I give importance to? There are so many things I need to work on. So many areas that need my attention. It's enough to have me on my knees every day asking for guidance and wisdom. For forgiveness and patience. Or at least I should be on my knees every day...

My grandma wrote a note back when we got married. I think it's pretty profound. It's not a long letter but a piece of advice I hold close to my heart. It's written in her familiar handwriting and I hope to have it framed. It needs to be on a wall in our home where I see it always.

Who do we want to be?

Do we want to be a reflection of the contentment and the encouragement of Christ? Our life needs to be so conformed to His image, so refined by years of following Him that the transition from earth to heaven will not require a dramatic change.

In God's love,

I pray my kids will see Him reflected in me, in my marriage, in the way I am with others. I fall so far short every single day. I'm thankful for a heavenly father who is full of grace and mercy. I'm thankful for a fresh start every morning. 

I need to be more consistent with my bible reading, prayer and praising. It needs to be every day, so much a part of my routine that someday when I glance up they will be doing...and loving doing those things.

Happy Thursday out's almost Friday, Hollah!


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Catching Up....otherwise known as my SECOND post.

There are a lot of things I could mention since last we 'talked'. It's been over  a month for crying out loud, who wouldn't have a lot to say. We've moved, celebrated two birthdays, Easter, Mother's Day and a trip to Florida. The first time ever I was apart from the kids overnight.

The thing I don't want to forget is this little guy's fourth birthday. This is Gabe. He's the cream in the Oreo, the lettuce in the BLT. He's in the middle. He gets lost in the shuffle sometimes. And it breaks my heart. He's wild, fun loving. But more than that he is determined. He started speech therapy a few months back and I am so proud. He studies Phyllis as she makes different shapes and sounds with her lips and then repeats it back. It's given him a new confidence that makes me tear up as I watch him express himself in a way that's new. He doesn't know what he's capable of until someone shows him. I can relate.

I can't believe it's been four years since I first laid eyes on you. My favorite part of being in the hospital was lying in bed after all the visitors left and it was just you and me. I remember your sweet newborn eyes looking into mine, the way you were swaddled so tight. Nursing you by the dim overhead light...and thinking that this, this moment right here is what I've waited my whole life for. You are a great kid and we are blessed every day just by knowing you.  Love God, just love Him with all you've got. You're SO going places, kid.

Do you ever pray for your kids? If so what do you pray for? I find I have a ton of anxiety over watching them grow so fast. When I pray it's a way to release all those fears and worries about the future. It makes me more aware of this day. It makes me want to be better, dig deeper, try harder and always, always point them to Christ.

Oh, and Gabe, you loved your birthday surprise! We took a trip to EnterTrainment Junction. So, so much fun. You loved watching the model trains weave in and out of the little villages. You were excited to pick out a new Thomas plate and cup from the gift shoppe. You couldn't contain your sweet smile as we took you out for pizza afterwards. We ended with Andrea, Nich, Zach, Carrie and Emily singing Happy Birthday and enjoying ice cream cake. But the very best part of all was how you could not stop saying thank you. It was absolutely precious the way you kept saying it. We want you to know that you are someone to be celebrated.  Yes, YOU.

P.S. I am really, really new to this whole blogging thing. I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. I'm not sure I will ever figure out how to write a post AND upload pictures in a quick and efficient manner. But I'm gonna try. Please be patient with me!